once again, the feeling of giving up overwhelmes me. for like the millionth time this year.
i can't stand the way i am progressing. i utterly can't stand it at all. cheryl think i'm being a prefectionist. i don't think so. i havn't even reached the standard of good so there isn't anything to perfect. i just suck damn badly.

how long more am i supposed to suck before i can finally improve one bit? for the rest of my life? i think thats the answer.

then someone told me the thing that's stopping me from giving up is the fact that i love it too much to let go. i think thats the answer to so many of my problems. i just don't want to let go.

damn it.

christine
14 going on 15
211293
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